Before Noon

Before noon 3 things awesome have already happened to me.

First: I'm Drinking Vernors

Two: You know how you see guys pulled over on the side of the road to nap to rest up for the next leg of a long journey? Well today I saw that, but he was pulled over on kephart, taking a nap, while sitting on his bicycle.

Three: Was at work today cleaning the Nursing Dept. when i feel the need to relieve myself in a number two manner. This is sweet because i can just clean the toilet and just sit on it without being afraid of disease. So my next thought is which bathroom and which toilet. It just so happens that there is what i call inside my head "the luxury bathroom" but in my here there are no "'s anyway. Its the = to the womens restroom on the tv show the office, chillin chairs, full sized mirrors, disco ball, etc. SO i decide this is the water closer for me. To some this would be a problem because there is no "men's luxury loo" So I jsut put the Restroom out of Order/ DO NOT ENTER sign up and for extra protection I added the rubbish recepticle to the back of the door, and on top of all this my cleaning products are on the counter.

So I choose the nicest throne of the 3 in the bagno. Sit down to do the thing, Im there for about 20 seconds when I hear some wicked crashing. Some very angry sister crashed through my DO NOT ENTER sign in the first doorway, tries to push through the next door and realizes there is a trashcan on the inside. Instead of taking a hint she starts cursing under her breath slams the door open the waste basket flies, then she takes a seat beside me. I haven't saw anger like that in weeks. I'm pritty sure the smell in there was less than optimal, and im very sure she didnt even have to use the washroom because my the time her urine hit the water she was done. She did was her hands, more than I can say about myself.

I cant handle so much excitement all before noon.

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3 comments:

cbold said...

Finally a new blog!

Derek said...

ive been uninspired

Anonymous said...

That is some funny shit man.