I would just like to point out that skunks really have a bad rep.
They really aren't as bad as people think. I think that they are
just very misunderstood creatures. They are very much like a kitten.

Today I was at work at like 7amish and i was walking to one of the
buildings and I happen to notice a skunk. At this point in my life
I was very ignorant when I came to skunks. People tend to look at skunks
the way too many white people look at black people and vise versa.

Once you get to know them that are actually proper decent creatures.
At first I tried to make it spray from a distance, by clapping and
rock throwing, but this skunk was more busy eating something.

Then the skunk noticed me and started running at me. This made me
feel a little uncomfortable so I quickly ran into the building.
It turns out that the skunk jsut wanted to chill cuz it paced out
side the glass dooring waiting for me for awhile. Then I saw it
outside of the window from one of the rooms that I was cleaning.
So I slammed the window hoping that it would spray cuz I thought
that skunk spray in the middle of Andrews campus would be a nice
treat for all the May Express student who are still half asleep
to awaken to.

It turns out the skunk wasn't interested in spraying and after
I had been rude to it for most of the morning it went on its
way to find a new friend.

The Interpretation of Dreams

first of all Sigmund Freud was a crock, I tried reading TIOD... and all he would do is give his patients large amounts of cocaine and purty much interpret what they "drempt.".. his grandson's art was pritty rad tho.

While taking my afternoon nap yesterday I had a rad dream, in which no cocaine was involved.. I was at an I Love Lucy convention, I don't know why. Then that Blink 182 came on "What's My Age Again?" [it jsut so happens that i'm 23]

I got really stoked and suddenly there was a track around the convention and i start running and stripping... then all the Lucy look-alikes started chasing me.

It was all in slo-mo and the gravity was cut by like 30 percent... I got all the way around the track one, and there was my parents looking very disapprovingly at me. So I woke up.

I have no legs

This guy is really tuff... its a favorite clip from the movie KIDS

Its about an amoral, HIV-positive skateboarder sets out to deflower as many virgins as possible while a local girl who contracted his disease tries to save his next target from her same fate.

I want to believe

enuff said.

The Becoming

I have my life figured out. My life is like the first time you watch M. Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable. When I watched it for the first time I barely got through it, then when I saw the ending... it totally made it all worth it. All this time I have been living like Mr. Glass. I don't achieve what I can because I fill my head with "comic books." When in reality I am Bruce Willis' character David Dunn, a "superman" and I just never realized it... because I had to become him through my past and previous experience... When I starting thinking about this I realized I am also like Strider aka the DĂșnadan aka Estel aka Elessar Telcontar Thorongil aka Aragorn, son of Arathorn. I was Derek but without noticing I have become DP the Boss, I am untouchable... back to Unbreakable, tho... That is how my life is. One really long and boring movie with an amazing ending, making it all worth it. My life has been pritty lame but there will come a time when I shall begin my reign. People will know me, I will have many leather bound books and my study will smell of sweet mahogany. My life's theme has lyrics something like this; "Back Then They Didn't Want Me, Now I'm Hot They All On Me."


Love Me Some OJ

I have a confession to make: I'm a fan of Lil Wayne.
...and I rarely listen to Mike Jones anymore.

The Darkside of the Ring

Quickbeam aka Bregalad- Coolest Character in Lord of the Rings... followed by Tom Bombadil.

I think they they both deserve their own movies... I think that they could be combined into a movie.

It was obvious that Quickbeam possessed the powers to grow lots of plants, and sell them on the DL.

Imagine the cron he must have had... Also there is an undeniable link between Tom and the Ents.

As you may or may not know when Bilbo was in Withywindle where Tom Bombadil he was attacked by

trees. It is very possible and likely that these were the remains of the Entwives. Withywindle is part of

Old Forest, a tributary of the Brandywine river, on eastern edge of the shire. Fangorn Forest (Treebeard's

other name is Fangorn. Is very far SE from this point. The Ents searched for their wives but is it possible

that this small old forest was overlooked? It was a magical and dangerous forest, so not many entered it.

Except for Tom Bombadil because he was most likely hiding out in there,so he could deal with Quickbeam

and his supplies. They could easily transport back anad forth from The Brandywine, to the Ocean, and up

The Angren via the Fords of Isen right up to Fangorn. Quickbeam could easily slip out into the mountains

and send his secret forest growth down to Tom. Quickbeam and Tom definately had an import/export

business going on. I think that the Ent wives were trapped in The Old Forest by some kind of spells.

Where do you think all the shire's pipe weed came from? They were bordering Old Forest and im sure

that Tom would slip them some goods so that they would continue to have the blind eye towards their

operation. You can notice when looking at a map that there is a very convient river to each major kingdom

of middle earth, its a perfect business... this can all be backed up in the Trilogy books and from any tales

of Tom. Here is a list of drugs they probably sold along with other things Quickbeam would think up:

Aeglos, Alfirin, Athelas, Culumalda, Elanor, Lairelosse, Laurinque, Lebethron, Lissuin, Mallorn, Mallos,

Nessamelda, Niphredil, Oiolaire, Seregon, Simbelmyne, Taniquelasse, Uilous, Vardarianna, Yavannamire,

and of course pipe-weed, but i think that all of the above were varieties of pipe-weed.


Tribute to A Reader


So I have this friend on Myspace and Now on Blogspot, who is Darth Vader. A Darth Vader who plays some proper Led Zeppelin and looks like that kid from Idol Hands and Wild America.

I thought that I should mosdef post his comment. This guy is so Trill.


I am now a huge fan of Troy Loves Zeppelin, and I would elect you to be also... Even tho he doesn't have the Immigrant Song on his profile... he really wails.

Troy Who Loves Zeppelin you are the Boss!


Ok... I say FUCK THE MAN- I hate the 5-0!


These two dumb shit smokies just came to my house at 2am and interrupted my hyper text markup languaging!

I hear this ridiculously loud banging coming from the living room, and I thought it was Seth being his usual self... But something was different so I went out to investigate to find that the banging was coming from the door. It sounds like they had a battering ram on the other side.

I thought it was Bryan so I said "Bryan?" No answer... "Who it is" Said I

"Berrien County Fuzz!" Said They.

"Where is Bryan?" asked one Smokey.. (There were 2 Swine)

"May We Come it?" asked the other Dick.


Those Fucking pigs just abuse their power.

It turns out that Bryan hit a pole 6 months ago in the winter. As they Fuzz were driving by they saw it and thought they needed to investigate at 2am. Then wake up half the fucking hood.

"It looked fresh because there was no rust in the dent" Said one Donut Muncher.

They threatened to take his license because Bryan didn't know that- If you hit something... anything at all you have to call the police and fill out a report.

"What do you smoke out of your bong?" One of the Fucktards asked pointing to the Houka.

"Crack yo!" Said Bryan.

Then he pulled his nine.

Summer Eventage

So Here Is A List Of Summer Events


May 31 - Gavin Heslop's Birthday


June 2 - Dick Bass' Birthday (Naked dudes.. with boners)
June 5 - Brett Newman & Aris Rivera's Birthday
June 9 - Jordan Wisniewski's Birthday
June 12 - Brandon Lowry's Birthday (Strippers!!)
-Tito Sanchez's Birthday
June 13 - Bryan Szaflaski's Birthday
June 14 - Flag Day (The Best Ever)
June 21 - Summer Solstice (No Clue? (Too lazy to google it!))
June 21 - Gay Brad's Graduation Party
June 25 - George the 7th Birthday
June 27 - James Whitefox (I think he finally turns 18(the kid never ages))


July 2 - Julee Johnston & Rob Grimm's Birthday
July 3 - Kyle Westfall's Birthday
July 4 - Independence Day (End of the World)
July 5 - Kelsey Davis' Birthday
July 10 - Lindsay Lardino, Ozzie Rodriguiz, Jackie Shotwell's B-Day
July 12 - Lorren Hickman's Birthday
July 18 - The Dark Knight (Haha! stupid, dead Heath Ledger)
July 21- Jeremy Dupper's Birthday
July 25 - X-FILES - I WANT TO BELIEVE (I will be camping out one week in advance outside the theater if anyone wants to join me)


August 1- Seth Wiedemann's Birthday
August 3 - Jae Park's Birthday
August 3-5 - Lollapalooza (Nine Inch Nails, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Kanye West, The Raconteurs, Gnarls Barkey, Bloc Party, Lupe Fiasco, Iron & Wine, Blues Traveler, Saul Williams, The GO! team, Flogging Molly, G Love and Special Sauce....)

Anyone know of anything else that I can add?

Easter Egg Hunting

So yesterday was quite an adventure. Me, Seth, and Rob being about as poor and hungry as it gets, got all of our pocket change together and all the cans and bottles we could find... all equally about $8.50 and we got 20 pre made burgers and 1 loaf of bread. Then we went out to Jill's with Jesse Jesse and went Easter Egg Hunting but the Eggs were actually wild asparagus. We feasted like Kings! Today I am making asparagus soup. I already made pickled asparagus. We had BBQ'd asparagus yesterday. We have so much asparagus now that I plan to; barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. There's, um, asparagus kebabs, asparagus creole, asparagus gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir fried. There's pineapple asparagus and lemon asparagus, coconut asparagus, pepper asparagus, asparagus soup, asparagus stew, asparagus salad, asparagus and potatoes, asparagus burger, asparagus sandwich... That's, that's about it. You should come over and eat with us.


Also I sorta gave Jesse a hair cut... a combo of air suction and too much lighter fluid. I thought that was pritty funny until everyone starting pointing at my hair and laughing.

Public Service Anoucement

This is DP telling you to get off the internet and
get some fresh air, you lames! Exercise won't kill you, fatty!
I'm getting off and going out.
follow me.


Before 12

I was just thinking... It there a difference in drinking before noon and listening to dirty gangster rap before noon?



class doodles




Nothing blogable has happened to me recently and nothing funny is going on inside my head.

I wake up at 610 everyday and go to a job that I hate. Sometimes I think I shoudl start smoking drugs. I would smoke drugs If my job afforded drugs. Sometimes I think alot about selling drugs. They say that men think about sex every 12 seconds. I think about selling drugs every 11 seconds and I start thinking about it again before that 11 seconds is up.

I'm still living in the house that was once the highly esteemed "Poon Palace" aka "Sex Haven" but there has been a lack of any of that. My roommate Rich B, seems to hold it down for the all of us. Anything that the rest of us get is nothing or unwanted or of sub-par quality- its generally less-than-optimal. So "The Palace" has once again become The masturbatory cave... with no parenthesis involved. Thats ok with me though... I don't even wanna deal with that shiz. I attract the crazies... real loony bin material... and once the receive equilibrium (if they last that long) they disappear. But we are a generation of men raised by women, I'm wondering if another women isn't what we need.

My roommates are pritty (d)gay. I had a sign on my door that read; Rules of Dereks Room: 1. No Farting 2. No talking about gymnastics and 3. No "n" words. So they ripped it down and do it as much as they can. I want to punish them.

I found a 5 leaf clover a few days ago... Im not sure if i should pluck off one leaf or if i should keep the extra one for extra good luck. I'm thinking that the extra leaf might be hexing me. I think ill just throw it away just to be safe.

My guy Jesse is planning to move into The Palace, so that should up our game pushing it like 2 stops. We will command center in our room and make some roboto music. I've been trying to make something amazing but Ive discovered that along with my color blindness, I am not musical and also very tone deaf.



Anyone know of or have a decent paying job that I could get for the summer?

I can't live off of undercooked beans all summer!!

Movies That I Mos Def Dont Have Pirated.

James Bond Collection
From Russia With Love
You Only Live Twice
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Diamonds Are Forever
Live And Let Die
The Man With The Golden Gun
The Spy Who Loved Me
For Your Eyes Only
A View To Kill
The Living Daylights
License To KIll
Tomorrow Never Dies
The World Is Not Enough
Die Another Day
Casino Royale

1980's Collection
Batteries Not Included
Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue
Ferris Buller's Day Off
Full Metal Jacket
Ghostbusters 2
Good Morning Vietnam
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
The Goonies
The Princess Bride
The Breakfast Club
The Monster Squad
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Who's The Man

1990's Collection
Bebe's Kids
Black Sheep
Boogie Nights
Cool Runnings
Cruel Intentions
Dazed & Confuzed
Deadman On Campus
Double Dragon
GI Jane
Half Baked
Home Alone
Home Alone- Lost in NY
In The Army Now
Mercury Rising
Office Space
Shawshank Redemption
SLC Punk
Son In Law
Space Jam
Super Mario Brothers
Superbowl XXXI
The Basketball Diaries
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Rapture
The Sandlot
The Virgin Suicides
The Saint
Weird Science

American Pie Collection
American Pie 1
American Pie 2
American Wedding

Angelina Jolie Collection
Tomb Raider I
Tomb Raider II
Playing God
Taking Lives
The Bone Collector

Austin Powers Collection
International Man Of Mystery
The Spy Who Shagged Me

Ben Stiller Collection
Royal Tenebaums
Starsky & Hutch

Brad Pitt Collection
Seven Years In Tibet
Twelve Monkeys

Broken Lizard Collection

Denzel Washington Collection
Inside Man
Man On Fire
Training Day

Documentary Collection
Andy Warhol
Ansel Adams- Master Photographer Series
AW's Bike Boy
The Devil & Daniel Johnston
David LaChapelle- Portrait of a Photographer
AW's Factory Girl
I Shot Andy Warhol
Annie Leibovitz- Photographer
The Gods Must Be Crazy
The Gods Must Be Crazy II
AW's Trash
AW's Poor Little Rich Girl

Dumb and Dumber Collection
Dumb and Dumber
Dumb and Dumberer- When Harry Met Llyod

Edward Norton Collection
American History X
Fight Club
The Illusionist
The Italian Job
The Score

Elijah Wood Collection
Everything Is Illuminated
Green Steet Hooligans
Via Verde Ultras

Foreign Films Collection
City Of God
Hot Fuzz
Jeux d'Enfants
Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels
Shaun Of The Dead

Free Willy Collection
Free Willy
Free Willy- The Adventure Home
Free Willy- The Rescue

Gangster Collection
American Gangster
The Godfather I
The Godfather II
The Godfather III

The Hannibal Lectar Collection
Hannibal Rising
Red Dragon
Silence Of The Lambs

Happy Madison Collection
Anger Management
Big Daddy
Billy Madison
Grandma's Boy
Happy Gilmore
I Know Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Little Nicky
Punch Drunk Love
Reign Over Me
The Waterboy
The Wedding Singer

The Holiday Collection
A Charlie Brown Christmas
A Christmas Story
Frosty The Snowman
How The Grinch Stole Christmas
It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Indiana Jones Collection
Raiders Of The Lost Ark
Temple Of Doom
The Last Crusade

Jim Carrey Collection
Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura II
Batman Forever
Bruce Almighty
Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events
Liar Liar
Me, Myself, & Irene
The Mask
The Truman Show
The Cable Guy

Johnny Depp Collection
Benny & Joon
Cry Baby
Don Juan DeMarco
Donnie Brasco
Ed Wood
Edward Scissorhands
Finding Neverland
From Hell
Once Upon A Time In Mexico
Pirates Of The Carribean I, II, & III
Private Resort
Secret Window
Sleepy Hollow
Sweeney Todd
The Brave
The Libertine
The Man Who Cried
The Ninth Gate
The Corpse Bride
What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

Johnny Knoxville Collection
The Dukes Of Hazard
The Ringer

Kal Penn Collection
Harold & Kumar- Go To White Castle
Van Wilder

Kevin Smith Collection
Chasing Amy
Clerks I
Clerks II
Clerks (Animated Series)
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

Matt Stone & Trey Parker Collection
Beavis & Butthead- Do America

Might Ducks Collection
Mighty Ducks I
Mighty Ducks II
Mighty Ducks III

Action Collection
American Outlaws
Children of Men
Die Hard- Live Free Or Die Hard
Grindhouse I
Grindhouse II
Shoot'em Up
The Recruit

Comedy Collection
Dude Where's My Car
Family Guy Movie- Stewie Griffin's Untold Story
Freddy Got Fingered
Joe Dirt
Kickin It Old Skool
Larry The Cable Guy- Health Inspector
Malibu's Most Wanted
Nacho Libre
Napoleon Dynamite
Not Another Teen Movie
Red Green's Duct Tape Forever
Robin Hood- Men In Tights
Ready To Rumble
Sky High
The Darjeeling Limited
Without A Paddle

Drama Collection
8 Mile
A Knight's Tail
Almost Famous
Black Snake Moan
Boiler Room
Count Of Monte Cristo
Dirty Pretty Things
Donnie Darko
Outside Providence
The Beach
Requiem For A Dream
Road To Perdition
The Squid & The Whale
The World's Fastest Indian
Under The Tuscan Sun
Varsity Blues
Into The Wild

Fantasy Collection
A Clockwork Orange
Lady In The Water
Lord Of The Rings (Animated)
Nanny McPhee
The Brothers Grimm
The Hobbit (Animated)
X-Files- Fight The Future

Monty Python Collection
The Quest For The Holy Grail
The Life Of Brian

Nicolas Cage Collection
Con Air
Gone In 60 Seconds
Lord Of War
National Treasure I
National Treasure II
Snake Eyes
The Rock

Old Films Collection
Ben Hur
Blazing Saddles
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

Peter Jackson Collection
The Fellowship Of The Ring
The Two Towers
The Return Of The King
King Kong

Russell Crow Collection
A Beautiful Mind

Shia Lebeouf Collection
Charlie's Angels- Full Throttle
The Greatest Game Ever Played
The Battle Of Shaker Heights

The Cure Collection
Greatest Hits

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Collection

Tom Cruise Collection
Rain Man
The Last Samurai
Top Gun

Vampire Collection
Interview With A View
Queen Of The Damned
Vampire Hunter D
Vampire Hunter D- Bloodlust

Walt Disney Collection
Alice In Wonderland
Lady & The Tramp
Snow White & The Seen Dwarves
The Jungle Book
The Little Mermaid
Beauty & The Beast
Fantasia 2000
Robin Hood
Sleeping Beauty
The Emperor's New Groove
The Fox & The Hound
The Lion King
The Prince Of Egypt
The Sword And The Stone

Wayne's World Collection
Wayne's World I
Wayne's World II

Will Ferrell Collection
A Night At The Roxbury
Blades Of Glory
Kicking & Screaming
Old School
Semi Pro
Stranger Than Fiction
Talladega Nights

Will Smith Collection
Enemy Of The State
Independence Day

X-Men Collection
X-Men I
X-Men- United
X-Men- The Last Stand

Bleach Movie
3-10 To Yuma
Everyone Says I Love You
Gangs Of New York
He Was A Quiet Man
Lions For Lambs
No Country For Old Men
The Brave One
Things We Lost In The Fire

TV Series Collection
Bam's Unholy Union
Viva La Bam (Seasons 1-4)
Band Of Brothers
Bleach (Season's 1-6)
The Boondocks (Seasons 1-2)
Chapelle's Show (Seasons 1-2)
Entourage (Seasons 1-4)
Hellsing (Ep. 1-13)
Heroes (Seasons 1-2)
MTV Icon (The Cure)
Smallville (Seasons 1-4)
X-Files (Seasons 1-10)

Before Noon

Before noon 3 things awesome have already happened to me.

First: I'm Drinking Vernors

Two: You know how you see guys pulled over on the side of the road to nap to rest up for the next leg of a long journey? Well today I saw that, but he was pulled over on kephart, taking a nap, while sitting on his bicycle.

Three: Was at work today cleaning the Nursing Dept. when i feel the need to relieve myself in a number two manner. This is sweet because i can just clean the toilet and just sit on it without being afraid of disease. So my next thought is which bathroom and which toilet. It just so happens that there is what i call inside my head "the luxury bathroom" but in my here there are no "'s anyway. Its the = to the womens restroom on the tv show the office, chillin chairs, full sized mirrors, disco ball, etc. SO i decide this is the water closer for me. To some this would be a problem because there is no "men's luxury loo" So I jsut put the Restroom out of Order/ DO NOT ENTER sign up and for extra protection I added the rubbish recepticle to the back of the door, and on top of all this my cleaning products are on the counter.

So I choose the nicest throne of the 3 in the bagno. Sit down to do the thing, Im there for about 20 seconds when I hear some wicked crashing. Some very angry sister crashed through my DO NOT ENTER sign in the first doorway, tries to push through the next door and realizes there is a trashcan on the inside. Instead of taking a hint she starts cursing under her breath slams the door open the waste basket flies, then she takes a seat beside me. I haven't saw anger like that in weeks. I'm pritty sure the smell in there was less than optimal, and im very sure she didnt even have to use the washroom because my the time her urine hit the water she was done. She did was her hands, more than I can say about myself.

I cant handle so much excitement all before noon.


Letter Litter

Bathroom Graffiti is the only art with thought and passion today.

It takes a very special artist to make this special art.

Their days starts off much like the rest of ours, When leaving my house
i grab all my pockets and mentally think "Cell, Keys, Wallet, Check."

The Bathroom graffiti does this "Magnum 55, Silver, Gold, Red, Blue, Black, small sizes, large sizes, heart full of hate, cellphone, keys, wallet, check."

The thought of this really amuses me, they must think/

"Man I Gotta Poop!, but I dont have my favorite sharpie."

"Bitch go get the marker! You know I can't take my morning dump without my marker."

My favorite graffiti is the religious stuff.

Such as John 3:16 in full verse

or "Smile Jesus Loves You"

Because REALLY who is taking that really great afternoon dump thinking "Man! Jesus Loves Me So Much! Thats why I have this huge mid-dump grin on my face."

I like when people write "Lowry Was Here" or just "Lowry" That is the best time to write sucks under it, or "has a small weiner"

As you may know i am a MCA, Mastur of the Custodial Arts, or a janitor if you want to be a dick about it.

I was cleaning a bathroom a few weeks ago to find one stall completely covered in red marker, b ut not just one red marker. This friend has remembered to bring a backup, and the backup was of smaller size.

There was every word and some really interesting word combos that I had never even thought of before, like; "Lowry is a Fucktastic Bitch" [names have been changed to protect the innocent] To name some other random scribblings "Fuck" "Shit" etc.

and on the back of the door it says "Your a stupid bitch"

See this made me laugh beside whoever wrote this... [im hoping not a college student] Has the testes enough to call everyone sitting on this particular can a bitch, and a stupid one at that. Then spell "You're" wrong.

The smaller marker was seemingly used to drink some haterade on a girl that his guy didnt care for, but he had to write this paragraph under the TP dispenser which had to be somewhat of a trick because of the spacial ratio between the toilet, floor, wall, and dispenser.

It was almost like he was trying to hide it, but he completely under estimated his local MCA. He must not watch Scrubs.



I feel uninspired. Now that school is out for the summer, school's our for ev-er!
I can focus on what is really important and this is blogging. I've recently been
surprised to find out that people actually read these. Hopefully I will bust a
new bust real soon.