Rob & DPs Bone Thug Adventure!

Bone Thugs and Buddha bring blessin's

So, we are on the way to the cafeteria to get our grub on, enjoying the bump of the the sweet and savory sounds of the Bone Thugs in Harmony, discussing that girl that got away, or some such thing that Rob always talks about...

With Andrews in sight we optimistically approach the "S" curve by the radio tower, when we see a car in the ditch; bump bump bump goes the Thugs in the trunk...

I smoothly careen around the first bend with no problem, when we feel a supernatural Thug force pulling us over towards the unfortunated car that has already succumbed to this unseen power.

"Oh $^&!" I yell, and "Mommy" Robert yells.



Like an Ace I maneuver my GT, away from certain death. When the force changes his evil mind and pulls us in the other direction, the next thing we know we are hovering feet above the ground, traveling the opposite way which we had intended.

I look over at Robert and he is pail as the driven snow, saying his prayers, and wondering why he hadn't wore his seat belt after having a similar experience not that long ago… and I quickly notice the smell of urine coming from his side of the car.

All the while the Bone Thugs keep making sweet love to our ears, seemingly oblivious to the oblivion in which we are facing.

We are still completely out of control and the car is completely possessed by the moment. I then begin to think about my own life, knowing that something big will be going down in just milliseconds…

…Do I want to die? Do I want to live? Do I want to become a doctor? Am I gay? Will I ever get with a pair of Tall, Asian, Red Head, Cheerleader Twins? Will it be a nice funeral? Will they play Marley at my funeral? What about Rob? Will he die a virgin? Why IS the sky blue? Was I a crack baby? Thoughts of this manner continue to race through my mind…

…Until the car spins back to the right direction and I begin to praise Buddha, but this too did not last, we did another 360 and again we are traveling forward with the car backwards…

This is when I starting screaming with delight like this "WHHHAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa!" It was at this point I yell "Robert! We are going to make it buddy, we are going to live!!" Then I went back to yelling "Whhaaaaaaaaa!!" in ecstasy. Even though I knew we would die any second.

"Where my N****az at? BANG BANG BANG!"

I then look out my Boss side window to see what our fate would behold when I saw the snow bank coming at me faster than a fat bitch.

I continue to stare out the window thinking of how young I am, not wanting to die a virgin, myself… I want to paint beautiful pictures, I want to build skyscrapers, I want to fly a commercial jet, I want to kill every panda that won't screw to save its own species, I want to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smoother all of those french beaches that I will never see, and I want 9 children…

Then came the impact and more girly screaming coming from my useless co-pilot.

Then silence…

Only white…

Is this heaven I asked myself.

Is this the Matrix I then wondered.

But then I wondered if they even play Bone Thugs in the matrix.